Sexist jokes

we should have some fun in this topic lol

Why do men get smarter during sex?

They're plugged into a f***ing genius.

Thankyou very much.

why did the woman cross the road???

who cares, wtf she doing out of the kitchen

golden oldie; why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the oven.

Budum dum tishhh.

Why is a man's piss yellow and his sperm white?

So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male



10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.


9. A better model is always just around the corner.


8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.


7. It is always necessary to have a backup.


6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.


5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.


4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.


3. The lights are on but nobody's home.


2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.


1. Size does matter.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.



Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”

Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some girls!”

Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

lol hilarious